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I think Santa Claus is a Woman...
Think about it, Christmas is a big, organized, warm and fuzzy social event, and I have a hard time believing any guy could pull it off. Most men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's almost as though they have been frozen in a Scroogeian time warp until 3 PM on Dec. 24, when they - with amazing calm - set off on a last-minute shopping spree. There they are surprised to find only Ronco (TM) products, underwear, and broken Christmas decorations. If Santa were a man, everyone would wake up to find a Chia Pet under the tree, unwrapped and still in the shopping bag. Other reasons:
Men can't pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than wear red velvet.
Men would feel their masculinity threatened, hanging with all those elves.
Men don't answer their mail.
Men would resent being described as resembling "a bowl full of jelly".
Men are more interested in peeling stockings off someone than filling them.
Santa would always be lost since men don't stop and ask for directions.
Men would stop on the way down the chimney and inspect the bricks and the mortar.
Finally, being Santa would require a commitment.
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